New Rules For Pedestrians

In order to prevent further injuries to pedestrians, from the 1st of August, no walking will be permitted in Bracknell. Despite initiatives including free tokens entitling everyone to their first hour free on a nuclear powered moon scooter and/or a 50% discount on the purchase of the same, some less well educated residents have insisted on continuing to walk about the town's shopping centre and pavements. In a statement yesterday Bracknell Councillor Martin Landau said "The complete chaos resulting from the frankly primitive behaviour of these stubborn pedestrians means, regrettably, that radical action from the authorities is now necessary. From the beginning of August, walking will be allowed only in private homes and then only until stair lifts have been installed, which will be compulsory by the beginning of August next year."

Endless Summer

For the residents of Bracknell, the balmy July days stretch out into the seemingly endless tapestry of the Bracknellovian summer.