Bracknell's Unique Festivals

As residents of a unique and forward thinking community, Bracknellians enjoy a number of seasonal events that are, sadly, absent from the calendars of most other towns and cities. Unlike the rest of Britain, Bracknell has not embraced Hallowe'en, Thanksgiving or Independence Day, preferring rather bizarrely not to pretend to American. Bracknell's traditional and unique events include: Walking Afternoon, when huge numbers of Bracknellians struggle from their nuclear powered moon scooters and enjoy as briefly as possible the novelty of getting about without assistance; and Dangerous Dog Week (unusual in that it is celebrated every week for 52 weeks per year), during which the owners of these canine maiming machines congregate in the town centre at Bar Torino to smoke and stare at passers by. This picture shows Bracknell's annual Festival of Polythene in full swing. For reasons unexplained, in addition to the wrapping of the entire town centre in plastic sheeting, this most enduring of festivals also involves the decapitation of every tree in the vicinity.